Now, what I don’t do a lot is pray expectantly. Its much easier for me to appeal to God like a child would to Santa: asking with puppydog eyes, and hoping inside that he’ll get what he wants.

Especially when its something dear to my heart, that (I think) I need, it is hard to put forth my trust in God, knowing that He’ll deliver (even if it isn’t how I’d expect). I don’t like to be let down.

Its times like this that I need to remember why my God has a capital “G”. He isn’t a deity out of Greek mythology, who is just as selfish and flawed as man. He is the God of the universe, and He is good. Therefore, his will is good.

Hate having to ingrain knowledge into my heart. Humbug.

Honestly, without researching, without googling, can anyone tell me something about Obama’s plans?

I don’t feel he’s communicated them too well. As of now I’d have to say half of America just wants him because he isn’t Bush, and the other half still think he is a Muslim terrorist.

Yay America. Really. Yay.

Barack Obama has had a huge hurdle to face when it comes to his lack of experience (especially when compared to John McCain). Obama, who was sworn in as a Senator in January of 2005, has only about three years of experience when it comes to Congress. However, Sarah Palin, has only two years of experience when it comes to state government, and virtually no experience in the realm of Congress (save for a high school Civics class).

John McCain has thrown away one of the biggest political advantages he had over Barack Obama, all in the name of trying to shepherd in the women voters who felt left out in the cold after Hillary wasn’t nominated (or not chosen over Biden as Obama’s running mate).

I assumed that McCain would choose a political heavyweight as his running mate (and I had a glimmer of hope that it would be Romney), but McCain instead chose the best looking governor that nobody (save for the Alaskan populace) has ever heard of.

The only good thing that I can think of to come of this is that Obama isn’t the only one offering “change” anymore.

And for the record, those of us who are afraid of change are feeling a little abandoned now. I feel yah Hillary-voters…I feel yah.

John 15:16 reads

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

God makes it clear: “I chose you. You didn’t choose me. I say when you bear fruit, and I say what your fruit will go on to do”.

God will show mercy on whomever he shall show mercy. And I am so glad God chose me to be spared.

In Isaiah 61:1, it is said of Jesus

1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

Maybe my mind isn’t filled with enough testosterone-driven bravado to ignore that verse, but everything about Jesus in this verse is beautiful.

It says:

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

“Take delight in honoring each other”. I once heard a pastor say “Just because I love you, doesn’t mean I have to like you”. I’m sure you can find a way to argue in favor of that, but I can’t say that with a clean conscious in my spiritual life.

If I don’t like you, it would definitely be hard for me to “love you with genuine affection”, or to “delight in honoring [you]“.

God, make this heart of stone into one of flesh that beats for you.

My spiritual life is often so noisy, I can’t hear God’s will being whispered to me. I need to learn to shut up.

And it is because of all of these things, that I stand in awe of God.

He forgives me, and forgets all of my low-down, disgusting, and shameful sins.

Oh, but thats not all!

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

So not only will God forgive me; He will also put forth the effort to “cleanse [me] of all unrighteousness”. Only in the twisted, deranged mind of man can this seem like a bad thing- something we have to question and be unsure about.

Exhibit A- I fall into sexual sin.

I don’t much feel like talking to God at this point. Not because He’s not worth my time or anything- I just don’t feel worthy. You know the feeling. Only, the realization hits me, I’m never worthy of His forgiveness. I digress though; the problem still remains: How do I get over my ego and pride and come to God in humbleness to ask for forgiveness?

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Now, I would just like to point out: that verse would be significantly different if I was God (so, thank God I’m not). It might go a little bit like this:

“Let us therefore come in fear and trembling to the throne of…”

I think the least God would want is a bit of fear…you know, what with us breaking commandments and whatnot. But no, He asks nothing of us, except the obedience to confess our sins to him.

I encourage you, reader, to think about anything you need forgiveness for, and ask God, our Father for His grace and righteousness. I’m not a huge fan of the more Christianese words (like mentioning grace arbitrarily), but I assure you- no other words cross my mind right now to describe what God does for us, except words found in His word.

Go God.

I have many gay friends. Many. I love my gay friends. Heck, they are some of the most fun (and honest) people I know.

I’d even go as far as to say that they can be much more virtuous than I at times. My friends are gay, but they aren’t liars (not any more than most people anyways), they aren’t thieves, they aren’t drunkards, and they sure as heck aren’t devil worshipers. Yet, none of them know what a relationship with God feels like. Although, to their credit (or discredit), some of them think they do (you know- the “I love God, but I’m going to live how I want to live” crowd).

I wondered for a while why most gays did not have a relationship with Christ, let alone, know what He did for them. The answer I got back a lot was usually something to the effect of (cue the Pharisee-like arrogance):

“Well, you see, homosexuals are so rooted in their ways, and so deep in their sin, that they have turned away from godly things so they can pursue selfish, sinful acts.”

Now, if you are gay, and you are reading this- let me apologize for the ignorance of a large percentage of Christianity- for the hypocrisy to proclaim the Gospel where the second most important commandment is “love thy neighbor”, while they turn around and call you despicable names and look down their noses at you.

It finally hit me, and it took revisiting my own spiritual walk (all the way from cynical atheist to a failing, forgiven Christian). I became an atheist because of my embitterment towards the church (the Catholic church in specific). There was hypocrisy galore, and there was no real love ever shown to me by those who preached on the importance of said love.

This is one mans opinion (obviously), but sometimes I wonder if our church forefathers convened in a monastery up in the mountains somewhere (under the cover of night of course), and heard a speech such as this one (delivered of course, by whoever had the biggest bible):

“Let us, here on this day, resolve to acknowledge that the vile sinners who call themselves ‘gay’, do so by their own choice. Let us make sure to denounce anything that starts with the letter ‘h’ and ends in ‘omosexuality’, even if that word is ‘hooperomosexuality’. If faced with the topic of homosexuality, make sure to tell everyone you can reach how evil it is, and make sure to seem completely unsympathetic to those who might be gay. Remember, they are dirty, low life sinners. We of course, are much better than that! Remember when the Apostle Paul says that homosexuality is reprehensible. But forget when Jesus said to show love to our neighbor! Cookies and punch will now be served.”

However over-the-top and outrageous that scenario seems, I sometimes wonder if maybe this is what people learn in their Sunday-school classes growing up. It seems like Christians who were raised in the church especially dislike homosexuals.

Now, there is a disclaimer that I must make, for the sake of political correctness and liability.

(1)I know not all Christians think this way. This is my own viewpoint, which is based on what I have observed in churches and from speaking to Christians.

(2)I do not, I repeat, do NOT think homosexuality is okay. I think homosexual relations are sinful. But then again, so are hundreds of the things that I do. Gays are no less able to receive the love of Christ than you or me. And just because they become Christians doesn’t mean that they just turn “off” their homosexuality. That is up to God and His timing, and His decision to renew the mind of a sinner.

“

“Struggle: Christianese for ‘Giving in to sin, but then feeling guilty’